


it's okay if you're in love (even if it's not with me)

by 9ults (orphan_account)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 07:43:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18517006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/9ults
Summary: hanahaki!auJisung avoids his one and only best friend Minho when he finds himself in love with him because there are two problems: 1. Minho is inlove with Woojin 2. Jisung starts coughing up flowers.





	it's okay if you're in love (even if it's not with me)

Jisung has been avoiding Minho for a week now. Minho might not seem to notice because he's a busy man, after all. He doesn't know why; why he had to be avoiding his best friend for a silly reason. Because he's in love with him. 

Now what hurts Jisung so much is that, Minho doesn't reciprocate the same feeling because much to his dismay, Minho is totally in love with his boyfriend Woojin. And Jisung is just that friendly buddy beside the picture. 

But what hurts even more is the garden in his lungs. 

It's been a while now since Jisung coughs up flowers. He says he's fine even if he's not. Everytime he sees or thinks about Minho, his lungs starts to fill up with beautiful flowers. But Jisung just smiles when he sees the flowers so pretty in his hands. It reminded him of Minho's pretty smile that could light up his world (even if Minho's not smiling to him.)

Some said love is a beautiful thing and Jisung couldn't agree more.

The first time Jisung realized he's in love with him was that Minho introduced Woojin. At first, he's disappointed for not knowing his best friend is in love with someone but then there's a knot in his stomach that he couldn't describe and that strange feeling in his chest. 

He couldn't breathe at all. It was as if someone is choking him to not breathe. He excused himself from the couple but Minho insists of not going with him because he's still his best friend. When they reached the comfort room, Jisung opens one cubicle and there he was, daffodils coming out from his mouth. 

“Holy shit, Jisung! Are you okay?” Minho rubs his back. “For how ㅡ how long has it been, Sungie? And who?” 

The question made Jisung send chills in his spine. He couldn't speak at all. He realizes that he's in love with his best friend when he's happily in love with someone else. 

But Jisung smiles away the pain, “I'm fine. You don't know him anyway.”

“You have hanahaki.” Woojin says behind them. 

Jisung has heard different stories from different people about this infamous disease. 

“Are you sure you're okay?” Jisung hears Woojin ask but he just nod, exhaling the pain.

Fast forward to a few weeks, everything changed between Minho and Jisung. No more late night texts or hanging out playing video games at Minho's house because Jisung knows his place. He knows the line that he shouldn't cross when he's sick because of love. 

And Jisung is weak and pale from all of the flowers coming out from his mouth. 

Minho constantly texts him asking if he's alright or he wants to hangout sometime but Jisung finds a way of avoiding him at all costs. 

But one night, Jisung received a text message. Not from Minho but from Woojin. He asked if they can “talk.” Jisung furrows his eyebrows at this. Woojin is the last in his mind that he will spend the Friday night with and he's slightly nervous of what they're about to talk. So he texts back and pressing send without any second thought.

Woojin arrived in his house and Jisung is confused how he found his home in which Woojin just said Minho taught him directions. 

They walked to the park where they can talk privately, not a minute away from Jisung's house. 

He sat at one of the swings awkwardly and Woojin sighs before saying, “I know you're in love with Minho.”

Jisung looks up at him, mouth agape before asking. “How.. how did you know?”

Woojin slightly smiles. “I have eyes, Jisung and I know you're avoiding him.”

“Am I that obvious?”

“It's not that obvious to Minho.”

“He doesn't seem to care at all.”

“He does.” Woojin confesses. “He thinks you're angry at him. You know, at us.”

“I am not.”

“I know.” Woojin exhales. “The reason I came to talk to you is,” He continues. “I want you to let Minho know.”

He furrows his eyebrows at Woojin. “I'm sorry but what? Tell him I'm hopelessly inlove with him? Do you know what you are saying? I might ruin your relationship and you still have the audacity to suggest that?” 

“Listen, okay,” Woojin tries to calm him down. “Or you can let us help you. Please let us help you.”

“And how?”

“You can get surgery to remove the flowers but.. you wouldn't feel anything after.”

Jisung gets up from the swing before glaring at him. “You're making it sound like I have no hope which is true but no thanks I don't need help.” Jisung marches his way out from the park, leaving Woojin behind. 

When he arrives at home, he clutches at his throat, careful not to throw up before reaching the bathroom. Then there it was, yellow hyacinths scattered on the bathroom floor. 

Later he discovered yellow hyacinths stands for jealousy and he knows he's hopeless. 

And it's always been like this. 

Months passed, he's weaker and paler than ever. He's tired to the point where he doesn't go to school anymore. 

Minho is getting worried so he visits Jisung in his house and unexpectedly, when he opens the door, he finds Jisung lying there on the floor, pink camellias surrounding him. Minho knows what it means: longing.  
And he didn't hesitate to call an ambulance.

Jisung wakes up with a soft hand on his own and he realizes it was Minho resting his head at the top of his arms. He admires Minho's long eyelashes while he still has the time. He gently removes his hand away from him and Minho shifts himself up. 

“You're awake thank goodness!” Minho beams a smile. 

“Why are you here?” Jisung glares at him. Minho gives him a surprised and confused look.

“I found you lying on the floor and I didn't hesitate to bring you here, Sungie.” 

Jisung hated it when Minho calls him that. His tone is different from the ones he called him with it. It used to be sweet and cheeriness but when Jisung looks at Minho's eyes it's sad and desperation. 

“You know, don't you?” Jisung asks and Minho slightly nods. “Did Woojin tell you?”

“He did.” Jisung sighs. “I'm sorry for not knowing, Sungie. I'm so sorry for being so cold andㅡ”

“Sorry doesn't fix anything, Hyung.” He continues. “Do not look at me with those eyes, Hyung. You know I don't like being pitied on.” Minho looks down on the ground, slightly pursing his lips while listening to Jisung's broken voice. “I am not angry at you or at Woojin. I am angry at myself for falling for someone I can never have. It hurts so much, Hyung. It hurts so much watching you love someone else that's not me. But I can't do anything, can I? You're happy with him and that's what matters to me.”

Minho looks up at him, tears attempting to fall from his eyes. “Let's get some help, Sungie. I can't stand seeing you like this. Please let's get some help.”

Jisung glances at Minho who's now crying. Jisung looks away from him, thinking about the surgery. But before he could process anything, the flowers attempts to come out from his mouth. He covers his mouth by his palm and it reveals forget-me-not petals.

Jisung smiles at the sight and whispers, “True Love.” 

The day of the operation came, Minho is there and so is Woojin. Minho smiles sadly at his best friend before proceeding to the surgery room. 

“Are you nervous?” The doctor asks him.

“I'm not.”

“Being brave, huh? You know you won't feel emotions again after this, right?”

“I am aware, doctor.”

“If so, let's proceed.” The doctor puts an anesthesia to him. 

Jisung's eyes are slowly closing and the last thing he sees is Minho's beautiful smile. He thinks he should be grateful because he experienced love. And it was with Minho who he shared so many memories with. 

Some said love is a beautiful thing. But to Jisung, it's scary and beautiful at the same time.

**Author's Note:**

> :-')))))


End file.
